Lyn Hejinian

Two of the main things that stuck with me throughout reading Lyn Hejinian’s poems and essays was the use of doubleness, as well as opposites. These two things combined, create the emotion and meat of her works. While reading, I often felt confused and frustrated, but when looking back on her writings as a whole I saw the truth in her writing, as well as, a very true representation on life. I think that Hejinian sums up these feelings and life with her quote, “Rarely one follows a thought to its conclusion” (504). This idea not only emphasizes her style of writing but also the lives that we all live.

Although life may be death bound, such an ultimate “conclusion” is hardly ever seen mirrored in any conversation or activity in everyday life. The same is true for the verse of Hejinian. When one finishes reading one of her poems or essays they are perhaps more confused than when they started and questioning if it all really makes sense. I think that this is a proper representation of life, in that life is a conglomeration of all sorts of interactions, reflections and experiences that somehow all fit together, but yet do not make sense, thus keeping life interesting and everyday as an unknown.

Hejinian also stays true to this style and concept of life in her frequent admissions of uncertainty. This allows readers to take and understand her works as opinions rather than facts. In doing so readers not only appreciate the beauty of literature, but also understand that there are very few hard facts in life. Life and literature is open to many different interpretations and no one person contains all of the answers. It is the never ending interactions we have that instead allow us make our own individual decisions.

White Noise

After reading Don DeLillo’s novel, White Noise and witnessing the ever present theme of death in the novel, I got to thinking about how I view death. Death, as a topic is intriguing no matter the circumstance because it is the unknown. In many regards the fear that Jack and Babette have of death is because it is the unknown, yet as a college student about to graduate my future is unknown and yet I see it as a new exciting challenge that I am eager for. In many senses this is how I see death, obviously I would rather not die and don’t want to die any time soon, but I am not afraid or preoccupied with that point in my life.
Almost as intriguing as the subject of death, is the character Murray Jay Siskind and his philosophical take on life and death. The conversation that he and Jack have at the end of the novel, I thought was one of the most important scenes in the entire book. The way in which Murray intertwines death and technology is so disturbingly honest, yet it is still beautiful in a philosophical way. The paragraph on page 272 in which Murray states, “You could put your faith in technology. It got you here, it can get you out. This is the whole point of technology. It creates an appetite for immorality on the one hand. It threatens universal extinction on the other. Technology is lust removed from nature,” is one of the most poignant and important in the entire novel. The last sentence in the quote really emphasizes society’s dependence on technology and gives me the feeling that my life and its natural occurrences and interactions are almost all fake because they are in some way shaped by technology. Is the life we live today actually natural and are we meant to live this way?
He then goes on later to mention that we focus our lives on something bigger and attach ourselves to it as a form of identity that sweeps us away from the reality of the world. It seems almost ironic that we spend so much of our lives fearing death and its obscurity, latching onto something or someone else to absorb our fear and yet death is the only thing that is sure in “life.” Should we instead embrace death for its assuredness, or are we subconsciously already doing that so that we don’t live every single day of our life in fear of what it might bring?

Sula

Toni Morrison’s, Sula beautifully melds the relationship entities of friendship and family. A friend can seem more of a part of a family than certain members of that family. I think that Morrison shows her readers the importance of friendship, especially between two girls, and how the love of a friend can be more meaningful and stronger than the bond between a mother and daughter. Yes a mother does give her daughter her life blood, but perhaps it is this fact that creates a certain barrier between a mother and child. The bond seems too forced at times and almost submissive. Perhaps mothers and daughters, especially those depicted in Sula separate their selves from one another because they are too afraid of the other learning secrets or the shameful recognition that they are one in the same person.

A mother always wants more for her a child, but I think Hannah demonstrates the fears a mother has of a daughter turning into the mother when she declares she loves Sula, but does not like her. In this time period, town and racial divisions, Hannah does not see Sula as capable of becoming more than what she (Hannah) is. This hurts both Hannah and Sula, causing them to further emotionally separate their selves from one another. This emotional separation is seen as Sula just stands aside and watches Hannah burn to death and be smothered in boiling water.

On the flip side, a friend is not someone that a person is born into or onto. They are an acquaintance that a person grows to love and appreciate for who they are as a whole person and that they can share and learn the secrets of life together. Both Sula and Nel love one another despite their family differences and grow to long for one another to fulfill their emptiness and share their lives with, never afraid to shame or judge the other. An example of this careless, open and everlasting friendship is seen on page 105 when Nel shares with readers that although Sula just slept with Jude she does not seem shameful or naked. The experiences the girls have shared and trials of growing up hold the girls true to one another because they are all the other has to recall every smile and tear they shared in the private and most meaningful instances of life. There is an unspoken need for one another. Both women demonstrate this need in each of their final scenes in the novel. Sula leaves the earth in the most peaceful and beautiful manner, all the while thinking of and wanting to tell only Nel of this experiencing and what she was thinking and going through. In the closing of the novel, although Nel is still alive, the reader leaves her crying and calling to Sula, her one true love in life, the only person that understood her and her feelings.

Borderlands - Gloria Anzaldua

In Gloria Anzaldúa’s novel, Borderlands she portrays a sense of orphanage and loss for both women and the Mexican/American race. Her life, along with other women and Chicanas exists in a borderland, a third country in which she is a semblance of a fractured body and land. Living in a borderland creates the exact image that one sees when they hear the word border. Each day she encounters all sorts of barriers and borders which restrict her way of life.

Readers learn that since a young school child she was kept from using certain words and language when she spoke, for she must speak like an American. Anzaldúa truly is the embodiment of her language. She carries it where ever she goes and it bubbles inside of her, just waiting to be let free. Yet she must suppress both herself as a woman, Chicana and as woman, as well as the language that lets her express all of these identities of self. Her language, both inside and outside of her is representative of cultural collision and a violence that exists at the borders.

The concept of the borderland existing as a third country in this book reminds me a lot of the Langston Hughes’ poem, “Cross.” Both the speaker in “Cross” and Anzaldúa live with an everlasting internal feeling of confusion as to where they belong. When a person lives along the border or at a cross, there is always the question as to which side they belong to or identify more strongly with and whether or not these individuals make a decision one way or another, there still remains a burning inside which asks them daily whether or not they made the right decision.

Borders like those on a map mark off where certain states or towns exist. These borders help people define who they are and gives them a sense of belonging, but Anzaldúa and the speaker in “Cross” will never have that sense of belonging, comfort and definition because they exist in the gray area of the line that divides two nations and races.

Frank O'Hara

Unlike many of the other works we have read by other poets, I am still in the dark as to whether or not O’Hara himself is the speaker in his poems. Although he uses “I” in his writing, it is unclear as to whether or not “I” is him or another person that he is bringing to life. O’Hara like Plath, seems to be concerned with the creation of self in his poetry, yet unlike Plath’s poems, it does not seem that the experiences occurring in the first set of poems we read are happening to him. Sometimes I think that his writing is either meant to be a sort of play on words or a joke or even a criticism of other poets and people. For instance, in the poem “Autobiographia Literaria,” O’Hara gives his readers this childish and rather obscure outcry that seems Sylvia Plath like when he writes, “If anyone was looking for me I hid behind a tree and cried out ‘I’m an orphan.’” The images of these four lines create in the readers head remind one of the crazy and outlandish images that Plath’s poems create.

Later, in the second group of poems we read there is another reference or mimicking of another poet. In the poem, “To the Film Industry in Crisis” the very long and list like style of writing O’Hara uses is very similar to Whitman. These similarities seen in both poems seem to make me think that he is trying to utilize another person’s voice to either poke fun at that writer or to use the other writer’s voice to criticize society. Perhaps O’Hara is afraid to criticize another using his own voice, thus removing a somewhat personal aspect from his poetry. Rather than embodying the I in his poetry a sense of sarcasm and negativity is established instead.

Giovanni's Room

James Baldwin’s representation of his main character David in his novel, Giovanni’s Room reminds me a lot of Henry in the Red Badge of Courage. Both characters, having left their homes, seem to be lost boys struggling to stay afloat in a man’s world. Henry and David experience a sense of inner and outer war in their lives.

David is at war with his self over whom and how he loves. Inflicted with an uncertainty of his outward social sexuality he becomes a cruel character to the people, especially the men he truly loves. This is seen in the way in which he treats Joey after the consummation of their love and relationship. David states, “I picked up with a rougher, older crowd and was very nasty. And the sadder this made him, the nastier I became” (10). He then goes on, ultimately to hurt Giovanni and Hella as well. This nasty outlash that David has on those he loves is a spawn of societal mores. David cannot overcome the shame that he feels as a homosexual man, because it is not socially accepted. As a result he bottles up his shame, no pun intended and turns to alcohol to try and take the edge off of his pain and the feeling of constant war that he feels within his mind and body. This inner conflict makes David a tragic character that readers sympathize with throughout the novel. Readers just want David to be able to be happy and at peace with his self.

All of these feelings, except those homosexual ones, can also be seen in Henry in The Red Badge of Courage. Henry too left home to find his self and become a man. Even though Henry does not want to be in war and struggles with his urge to flee, he stays in the battle because he longs for a badge of courage. This badge however causes him a great deal of physical pain and leaves him lost and confused for a time being. And like David, Henry being in a battle situation loses some of his comrades to death.

William Faulkner Stories

I find the readings of “A Rose for Emily” and “That Will be Fine” by William Faulkner that we did in class to be very interesting stories to contrast and compare, especially via the portrayal of the main characters and the narration.

Emily the “fallen monument” in, “A Rose for Emily” is a very intriguing and mysterious character that I can’t seem to get enough of. The vague gossip like narration of her and her life makes me want to meet Emily and have a conversation with her and learn more about all of the sufferings in her life that drove her to “insanity.” Obviously the town feels the same way as well or they would not spend so much time gossiping and creating this story of her life. I also, I guess in a sick way, find it honorable and endearing in the way that she kept her lover Homer Barron locked up in a room in her house in order to keep him close to her and never have to be apart from him. An act like that is not something to be done by the faint of heart. As much as I wish that I could have gotten to know Emily through her own mind and story, I think the mystery is what keeps the story interesting.

On the other hand, I think that the fact that, “That Will be Fine” is told through the eyes of the main character is part of what aggravates me about this story. No matter how much people may argue that because Georgie is a young naïve child who doesn’t know any better and therefore tells the entire truth of the story, I think that his telling of the story is actually more skewed than that of the town gossip in, “A Rose for Emily.” The gossip narration in, “A Rose for Emily” keeps the story true to itself in that it is focused on unearthing the mystery of Emily. Georgie, who is completely oblivious to what is going on around him in the actual story because he is so blinded by money doesn’t capture the meat of the background and dirt in, “That Will be Fine.” I think that Georgie’s narration takes away from the story because he is not actually interested in what is going on.

I think Faulkner does a much better job of capturing the thoughts and heart of his readers in creating a story like, “A Rose for Emily” that is told through the eyes of gossiping town. I think that a narration like this also makes the story more fun and interactive because the reader feels like they are part of the snooping that is going on amongst the town folk and as a result it almost makes the reader feel naughty or guilty!